A group of multicultural young adults steps out of an alley led by a young woman who appears to be Polynesian. She points at me. “Him! Knock him out!”
“Is this the knockout game,” I ask.
“Yes,” she growls.
“OK, but you’re making a big mistake.”
“We’ll see who is making a mistake!” barks the man on her right, a striking blond with sparkling blue eyes. He steps forward and punches me in the face. As usual, nothing happens. He stares at me with dulled comprehension then looks back at the girl. “I don’t know what went wrong!” he says.
“Dude,” I say. “Your stance was not optimizing your power. Bend your knees a little more, then pivot your back foot when you swing. It gives you more power.”
A general ruckus starts among the group, and some of them stifle laughter.
He comes back at me and swings. I watch his footwork and note approvingly that he has distributed his weight more evenly, pivoted his back foot on the swing as I asked, and rolled his shoulder a bit in the windup as a natural byproduct of the improved footwork. His punch lands squarely on my right temple, and he recoils, cradling his hand.”
“That was better,” I say. “Could you feel the difference?”
He nods and I can see tears welling up in his eyes.
Colletta addresses their leader. “Are you Inuit?”
She smiles. “Yeah! Thanks so much for saying that instead of Eskimo!”
“You’re welcome!” says Colletta. “I hate cultural insensitivity. I’m Colletta, by the way.”
She extends her hand. “Ashley. A pleasure to meet you!” She looks to her left. “Juan, can you please knock him out?”
“Oh yes, of course!” says agreeable Juan. He steps up to me. “I am going to knock you out, motherfucker!”
———
REVIEWS
“Part action, part thriller, all comedy, The Librarian at the End of the World fires on all cylinders. Fans of Thomas Pynchon and David Foster Wallace will revel in the ridiculousness that is Miller’s America.”
“A constantly surprising picaresque journey through cultural darkness”
“A most unique rollicking story that careens from the almost familiar instantly into a world of what is happening here?
“Not so much a novel as a perpetual- motion machine: part road-show, part parable, careening between surrealism and comedy”
“Laugh out loud rambling tale of the future/present”
“Prepare to be blown away”
“On the cutting edge of audacious literature”
“Takes madcap to a new level, blending Preston Sturges and Philip Dick”
“Outrageous and thought-provoking”
“Just blown away.”
“Fantastic and bizarre”
“Lovecraft turns Beatnik and drops acid”
“One of the absolutely most freakishly odd books I have ever read”
“It’s like E. L. James, Larry Flynt, and Hunter Thompson somehow merged their DNA”
“Even Carrie Fisher (yes, her vagina is in here) isn’t safe from this menace!”
“If you are looking for a completely unique book, this one is hot!”
“Funny and intelligent”
“Filled with hedonism, erotica and hilarity.”
“Only for strong and fearless readers.”
“Wild, trippy, fun, and sometimes profound”
“I found myself engaged, disconnected and overwhelmed all at the same time”
“No one would ever expect this”
“Imagine a world where Thin Man was co-written by Tim Leary and Douglas Adams and set in the Office staffed by assassins”
“Brilliant, raunchy, hilarious, heartfelt, and by the end, breathtaking”
“Social satire at its best”
“In the end, this romp becomes something else. It becomes a work of art, moving and funny and memorable.”
Editor’s note: Technically it is her vulva, not her vagina.
Author Mark Miller 