Of all the ancient tribal tales of the end, none resonates as deeply as the Vikings’. The Christian Revelation we write off as the secret code that enabled the early church to meet, the Mayan calendar we dismiss as cyclical. But the Viking’s prophecy of Ragnarok? That’s some serious shit that is really going to happen.
Not only will Loki’s son, Fenrir the wolf, break out of prison and wreak havoc upon the world, Jormung and will rise from the sea and swallow the sun. All of us will be cast into darkness, and a huge battle will engulf the universe. The weak shall perish, and in the end Líf and Lífþrasir will rise from the forest Hoddmímis Holt and repopulate the earth. The fact that these dire foretellings came from a heretofore peaceful people in a low risk pool with affordable premiums and deductibles who just one day decided to build some ships and start pillaging, sending their rates skyrocketing and lurching the whole industry into tumult, makes it all the worse.
Alvin is a large, muscular man with a booming voice and obnoxious laugh. When he takes the stage, he commands attention. But he outdoes himself tonight.
“Ragnarok!” he booms. “The Wolf is unleashed!” The crowd hushes with collective shock, and someone whispers the dread name Fenrir. Alvin paces back and forth on stage, a caged animal. “The wind howls outside the mead hall, the waves crash on the rocks. The gray sky grows darker still and darker still. Your brothers fight in the street, blood flows, your sister is a whore, selling her body for food and drink. Fire, theft, and casualty are not just things that happen to other people! An age of wind, an age of fire, an age of the WOLF and of the SNAKE!”
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Editor’s note: Technically it is her vulva, not her vagina.