I need to find Katie, check with the league, evade the snipers, avoid the celebrity cheese vigilantes, and find out where I am supposed to be next. Uzbekistan is a big country.

I need to find Katie, check with the league, evade the snipers, avoid the celebrity cheese vigilantes, and find out where I am supposed to be next. Uzbekistan is a big country. I don’t even know where I am supposed to land. Do they even have airports there? I round the corner and shrink back. … Continue reading I need to find Katie, check with the league, evade the snipers, avoid the celebrity cheese vigilantes, and find out where I am supposed to be next. Uzbekistan is a big country.

“That’s no reason to be a cockwhore,” she says. “I loved you just the way you were.”

My delusions are interrupted when I look at the muted television set and see my picture. The scroll reads, “Cockwhore: The Final Decline of Western Civilization.” The normal impulse is to turn the set up and see why one has been so maligned, but I read the news before it's news, so I’d known this … Continue reading “That’s no reason to be a cockwhore,” she says. “I loved you just the way you were.”

I believe I hear police sirens. I strain. Yes. Unmistakable. We need to leave.

When Katie walks in the door I recognize her at once. She maintains her sporty looks and pixie haircut. I relish watching her as she is unaware of me, looking from sombrero to sombrero wondering which I am under. But I am not wearing a sombrero, just in case they sent an agent. She is … Continue reading I believe I hear police sirens. I strain. Yes. Unmistakable. We need to leave.

For if playing by the rules guarantees that you lose, why bother playing?

Hammond Wry is the screen name of one Damen Ginzberg who lives in his parents’ basement in their middle class home in Hammond, Indiana. He understands the town’s bleak economic outlook, from its dearth of established high-paying jobs to the scarcity of interesting entry-level opportunities. Moreover, he recognizes, in part by overhearing his parent’s desperate, … Continue reading For if playing by the rules guarantees that you lose, why bother playing?

As Always I am Helpless

“OK, say you have always wanted to eat Gwyneth Paltrow but realize that cannibalism is wrong.  You would stalk her and when she is asleep or passed out or otherwise unsuspecting, you swab some part of her body that has bacteria on it--” “All of her body has bacteria on it.” “Right, I know.  But … Continue reading As Always I am Helpless