A Survival Guide for Sports at the Office Being a middle aged man is some lonely shit. There is nowhere to make friends anymore, and the people you socialize with are usually work colleagues or neighbors, whose relationships with you prohibit the disclosure of revealing, intimate, or even merely controversial information. In a very real … Continue reading Being a Middle Aged Man Is Lonely
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Being a Middle Aged Man Is Lonely
Being a middle aged man is some lonely shit. There is nowhere to make friends anymore, and the people you socialize with are usually work colleagues or neighbors, whose relationships with you prohibit the disclosure of revealing, intimate, or even merely controversial information. In a very real sense your existence is defined by your ability … Continue reading Being a Middle Aged Man Is Lonely
We Do
I drop my kids off at school, come home, realize I need to run inside and make out with my wife before leaving for work, realize we have trust and love, and that that is an amazing accomplishment considering the universe has no real reason to exist. I ask who she is chatting with, and … Continue reading We Do
Ratios
In the year I moved here the tall, red building had an incident. Every day the sun's heat would expand the window, and every evening the air conditioning would shrink it again. Over time this small, almost imperceptible movement stretched the seal around the window. This was an effect known to physicists and architects. But … Continue reading Ratios
Spank Me, Joe Shuster, Spank me!
Joe Shuster, the co-creator of Superman, was a fetishist whose kinks of choice were bondage and sado-masochism. In a 1961 issue of Superman, one town's "official" Superman fanclub wrote the comic to let him know that they had noticed what a bother Lois Lane had become to Superman. They reasoned that her pleadings for attention … Continue reading Spank Me, Joe Shuster, Spank me!
Comorbidities
I leave for work with a paper bag full of tomatoes because I overplanted, and someone will want them. The plants have subsumed the broccoli, the herbs, and the onions. On the way to the bus, my doctor returns my phone call about the medicine she has prescribed. Although there is a correlation to organ … Continue reading Comorbidities
Check me out on PanicRoomRadio
Xtina Marie and James H Longmore interview me on PanicRoomRadio! We talk about my inspiration for the book and I read the chapter that started it all: I intended to write Happy Birthday on a friend's facebook wall, but it turned into a narrative about a pansexual country western singer. I don't know where it … Continue reading Check me out on PanicRoomRadio
