The mob in pursuit throws dead rats at the van. 

When we land the flight attendants warn us to move as quickly through the airport as possible. 

“There is a van waiting outside for you. The driver is holding a sign that says ‘Rothschild.’ Your baggage will be brought to you.”

“What’s this all about?” I say, but when she opens the doors, and we hear the crowd, we know simply to run. 

I see a sign that reads, NO YANKEE NUDITY! and hear them shouting in unison: 

YANKEE BATHERS JUST GO HOME! 

YANKEE BATHERS JUST GO HOME! 

YANKEE BATHERS JUST GO HOME! 

YANKEE BATHERS JUST GO HOME! 

YANKEE BATHERS JUST GO HOME! 

YANKEE BATHERS JUST GO HOME! 

YANKEE BATHERS JUST GO HOME! 

We escape the airport and hop into the van. The driver is a dusky man of middle age. He says nothing as he pulls out of the parking lot, the mob in pursuit is throwing dead rats at the van. 

Thunk! 

Thunk! Thunk!

Thunk! 

Thunk! 

Thunk!Thunk!Thunk!

I am fretting about our luggage, and if it got picked up, but I know better than speak. Presently he pulls over on the side of the road. We sit in silence. Wasserman, Katie, and I shrug at each other. A red hatchback pulls up next to us, and the driver gets out. He and the driver exchange some words in Turkish, and they transfer our luggage, which is at least some good news..

When the driver re-enters the van, he says in perfect English and indistinguishable accent, “Things are tense here. We have checked you into a very nice hotel in Samarkand. The event itself has been moved to a convention center on the outskirts of town for security purposes.” 

———

 REVIEWS

“Part action, part thriller, all comedy, The Librarian at the End of the World fires on all cylinders. Fans of Thomas Pynchon and David Foster Wallace will revel in the ridiculousness that is Miller’s America.”

“A constantly surprising picaresque journey through cultural darkness”

“A most unique rollicking story that careens from the almost familiar instantly into a world of what is happening here?

“Not so much a novel as a perpetual- motion machine: part road-show, part parable, careening between surrealism and comedy”

“Laugh out loud rambling tale of the future/present”

“Prepare to be blown away”

A tight and cohesive fever dream”

“This book is absolutely bonkers in the best way”

“On the cutting edge of audacious literature”

“Takes madcap to a new level, blending Preston Sturges and Philip Dick”

“Outrageous and thought-provoking”

“Just blown away.”

“Fantastic and bizarre”

“Lovecraft turns Beatnik and drops acid”

“One of the absolutely most freakishly odd books I have ever read”

“It’s like E. L. James, Larry Flynt, and Hunter Thompson somehow merged their DNA”

“Even Carrie Fisher (yes, her vagina is in here) isn’t safe from this menace!”

“If you are looking for a completely unique book, this one is hot!”

“Funny and intelligent”

“Filled with hedonism, erotica and hilarity.”

“Only for strong and fearless readers.”

 “Wild, trippy, fun, and sometimes profound”

“I found myself engaged, disconnected and overwhelmed all at the same time”

 “No one would ever expect this”

“Imagine a world where Thin Man was co-written by Tim Leary and Douglas Adams and set in the Office staffed by assassins”

“Brilliant, raunchy, hilarious, heartfelt, and by the end, breathtaking”

 “Social satire at its best”

“In the end, this romp becomes something else. It becomes a work of art, moving and funny and memorable.”

Editor’s note:  Technically it is her vulva, not her vagina.

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